Finding the Right Trip

Last year I quite unexpectedly won a biking trip across Thailand.

Red Bike LightIt pains me that I won’t be taking it.

I donated to Room to Read through Passports with Purpose. The 2012 effort is now underway. I would encourage all to support building wells in Haiti by bidding on one of the great prizes.

You might even win like I did. I was certainly shocked and excited about taking the trip.

Yet now there is something in my gut telling me it isn’t the right choice to make.

Power of Perception

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Using the Sunset to Restart

I pushed “publish” and walked out the door. I felt lighter, more buoyant than I have in a week as my boots merrily go click-click on the cobblestone street.

I had just announced that I failed.

I felt — feel — free. [Read more…]

5 Steps to Challenge Success

This goes in the “easy in theory, hard in practice” bin. Just like constantly attempting to be IN it is a constant practice.

Daily, consistent work is not my strong suit.

Are you the same?

I’ve had need over the last few weeks to focus on achieving a goal. Thinking about what helps us to achieve, makes those tricks repeatable and breeds more success.

So to remind myself as much as anything, here are my 5 tips to pushing through and staying the course that I think are applicable to any agenda:
Steps

1. Start
2. Focus
3. Challenge
4. Flex
5. Share

Easy right?

Well if you’re like me, perhaps a little more depth and explanation is needed. So let’s take each part in turn.

Note: A physical challenge variation on those themes appears today over at my side-project Tredecem — the halfway point of my 6-pack abs challenge to raise funds for Pencils of Promise.

Starting

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Lao Tzu

This should be the most straightforward, easiest, simplest, accomplishable step. “Just do it” right?

How often do we just not?

We know we should do the work. We ruminate on the work. We want to do the work. We plan the work.

We find crazy ways to delay and postpone just simply starting the work.

Starting often poses the biggest obstacle.

We procrastinate. “Oh but I work better under deadline.” Right? While that might be true, it doesn’t get the good work done.

What of projects with no deadline? Those big life projects we really want to achieve? Or ones that actually take consistent practice?

We have to start. Not do laundry, wash the dishes, rearrange our desks, check Twitter one last time, make a list, work on that one little quick thing… No.

Stop it.

What are you delaying?

Now start it.

Focus

Ok, we’ve — however begrudgingly — started. Kudos to us.

But now the reason we didn’t want to start (it is hard, mundane, boring, challenging, outside our comfort zone…) rears it’s ugly head and we want to quit.

1 – Don’t.

2 – Refocus.

I’m not just talking about truly focusing on the task at hand here though that of course is important. What I mean by “focus” is concentrating on the right part of what we are doing to insure that it is we continue doing it.

If we fixate on how much we don’t want to be doing the task at hand — be it making phone calls, entering data in a spreadsheet or holding a seemingly endless plank — the more it is going to suck. Finishing is going to be that much harder and likely we aren’t going to do a good job.

If we shift our focus to a positive horizon, breathe deep and relax into it, then the task becomes easier and we manage it much more effectively. If we embrace the suckage and then tuck it away, we are freed to focus on the good and right.

And more (seemingly) quickly will complete the assignment and move on.

Challenge

This is another variation on the delay tactic that prevent us from starting. Don’t put your sweat into the small stuff.

If the task or achievement is too small, likely we won’t do it.

I know the reciprocal is true — that the big is daunting so we shy away from undertaking it — but that is the important work. It is supposed to be hard. The difficulty reminds us that it is important.

We must challenge ourselves big so we accomplish big.

This can take the form of setting ourselves to a daily practice (hello “I will work on Italian 20 minutes a day for the next month”) or giving ourselves some big life goal that requires consistent work to achieve. Once we are started and working — if the ideal big enough — it is that much easier to set ourselves to the work to continue.

Once we get going, we don’t want to break the string of successes. It isn’t worth it.

Seeing how far we have come, how much time and effort we have already put in towards the large or consistient, helps us stay the course to completion.

Flex

Every great plan needs some degree of flexibility and room to adapt… we just can’t get carried away and derailed.

It is important to take breaks when we need them and be kind to ourselves when we slip but we have to avoid allowing that to slippery slope into breaking faith entirely.

We are really, really, exceptionally good at talking ourselves into and out of doing what we ought. (see #1-3) So we must keep our deviations constrained. We have to be honest with ourselves and call ourselves on our own BS.

I find it is helpful to thus call the delays-slips-misses-self-convinced-breaks what they are: cheats.

We can and should allow ourselves to splurge. But we must keep it in mind that we are indeed splurging and we will refocus and rededicate back to the real work. For the rule is more important than the exception.

Share

Social Pressure. Again, we are admiringly good at creating for ourselves the most flimsy of reasons for not doing what we know we ought to do. Peer pressure can work towards our advantage.

If we share our goals with others, with the reasons behind them, we self obligate into achieving them.

It also makes it easier when social pressures are working the other way and on the side of our splurgy gremlins.

How many times do we hear: “Oh just take a break for a night and come out.” or “You don’t want to miss this one opportunity right?” In those moments, if we have laid the groundwork previously, instead of trying to explain or — worse — giving in, is easy and quite effective to say:

“I wish I could but you know that goal I am working on that I told you about that is super important to me? I really got to do that.”

This is actually a win, win, win, win: We are more likely to start because we just said we are going to (Start). We have rededicated ourselves to the purpose, concentrating on the positive (Focus). We feel more obligated to do the work because we are giving up something to do it (Challenge). And we saw the splurge for way it was but — this time — chose to not take it (Flex).
"actions speak louder than blogs" #realitycheck #travel
Sweet!

Start.

Repeat.

Oh and through it all…

Always Be IN,

Jo

 

PS – Did I mention I am halfway through my abs challenge? Public Accountability right? I’m raising money for Pencils of Promise and you can help! If you are short on $, a click and a share are free and help me for my Social Media Class. Feel good of the day.

NOW START!

 

 

Hopeful Thankfulness and Responsibility for Change

This morning I awoke after a scant 2 hours of sleep to listen to President Obama speak about enduring hope.

America’s re-elected President, even with election results still coming in, spoke of the “stubborn hope” that persists against most odds and makes us work all the harder for the ideal image we believe in.

I sit at my keyboard this morning in Italy with my own hope-fire burning a little brighter.

Sunset over Brooklyn BridgeYes, I am bolstered by what I see as positive election results in Senate races (go ahead and let the door give you a hard smack on the way out you rape down-players and marginalizers of women’s and all citizen’s rights) and, yes, the Presidential returns.

More than what I heard this morning, I hold close to my heart the words I read yesterday from President Obama to a 10 year old to, in the face of bullying for being different, “treat others as you would like to be treated,” and a reminder that “what matters above all is the love that we show one another.

Politics completely aside, I have seen that resilient faith, hope and love in action over the last weeks in my friends and acquaintances in dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.

New York State of Mind

Today also marks 4 years since I moved to New York City. I miss “my city” today more than ever.

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Strong, Stubborn or Stupid: Why I finish(ed)

It is the smallest of cracks that send us careening ofttimes.

My third GoRuck Challenge, this one in Munich, was going so very well. The welcome party was welcoming to my favorite brand of fun, the weather was perfect, I was enjoying connecting with comrades new and old as well as rousing renditions of Sponge Bob Squarepants (great wrap video of the entire event).

It was good livin’ at its best. Until it wasn’t.
29_Park_Flags

It was mid-afternoon and I was carrying the flag. We were simply doing a “shuffle” up a sidewalk. I noticed the water egress cover but stayed in line.

Then I was falling.

Even on the way down I thought “this is going to be bad.”

I didn’t get my hands out in time.

The brim of my hat offered little resistance to the concrete and my mouth hit hard. The bruises on my knees that only fully developed a week later say that it could have been worse. But it was bad enough.

I lay face down on the concrete for a about 10 seconds, hearing shouts and shuffles around me. I tasted blood.

I composed my game face and said into the white stone: “I’m fine. I think I lost a tooth.”

Munich_Ouch3I had, indeed, chipped off about half my front tooth. My lip was busted up pretty good. After I asked for “please, only one voice,” Cadre tended to my wounds as best he could in the middle of a sidewalk. I was a bloody mess but didn’t require stitches (or so we thought).

Then he had one question: Do you want to go to the hospital?

“I want to finish.”

It was perhaps too much adrenaline. My lip had stopped bleeding, the damage to my tooth ugly but done. There was nothing, I thought, that the ER or a doc could do for me.

Right then, I had something very important to do for me.

I got myself up and, I’m not sure if it was outloud or not, said: “I’m going to finish.”

If you want the pictorial version of the story, click here through to my new sandbox site Tredecem.

Finishing

It was never a question really. It was, after all, just my face.”Merely a flesh wound.”

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