Faking Confidence

I’m currently traveling for work. Old life as an editor is back and, although tired and spread thin, I’m loving being on the road.

I’m meeting and working with entirely new people, short timeframes, tight deadlines, etc.

Somewhere along the way I was reminded powerfully of the old adage “Fake it until you make it” and how true this is for this blog and my life right now.

I was reminded again about the power of confidence. The power of you being you and letting the rest sort out.

A big part of me wants to leave in the part here were I write “Oh I know you are probably sick of hearing about this but…”

BUT you know what? If you aren’t interested in what I’m saying you will have probably stopped reading by now. I have no control over that. I can just do my thing— or “thang” depending on my mood.

Still here? Great…

Taking leaps

I’m finding myself continually drawn back to the theme of leaping. Of trying to be bold. Accepting being a little afraid yet pushing forward anyway and smiling. Not for outward display but to remind yourself to try to enjoy the process.

Maybe it was finding out the producer with whom I’ve been working is about 6 years my junior. I’ve been obsessing over her opinion of me, wanting to make a good impression, and I suddenly realized that her terseness isn’t negative judgement as I so feared… it is trust.

She is letting me be because she deferring to me and my ability.

Maybe it was having a (oft-had) conversation with my cameraman which goes something like this:

“Can you believe they are paying us for this.”
“Nope. Feels like we are getting away with something. Most days I’m just making it up”
“Me too.”
“I keep waiting for someone to figure out that I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Me too.”
<shared laughter>

Which brings us back to confidence and pushing forward with guts.

Guts Driven

Historically, I have been guided by one thing: I like what I like.

I’ll try new tastes, smells, textures and revisit things that haven’t wowed me in the past— I know my palette is changing — but I’m a guts-driven person in my taste.

I shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to admit it. I shouldn’t be fearful or wary of letting that guide me in my pursuits, be it work, travel, love, or this blog.

Here’s the deal:

I like my coffee strong.

I like learning about different places, people and ideas and a a fantastic turn-of-phrase.

I like my beers dark.

I also like challenges, travel, achieving a faster run and longer bike, naps… and an untold number of little happinesses that make life more full.

How do all those things fit together in one cohesive blog?

Me.

This is my creation. And if I have anything to share to the greater world it is this:

You are your own best creation.

Inspire yourself.
Inform yourself.
Invent yourself.

Enjoy the hell out of being you.

I need to be reminded of these things every day too. I need to keep building my confidence that I am in control of my direction and, most of all, I am worth it. I am still leaping. I am still learning.

Welcome to my journey.

 

Bumbling through one blog post at a time…

That probably isn’t a very good tagline or article title. Cheeky and cute if attempting “ironical” but not so much if true.

Yet, I AM still learning. I’m not even close to a Michelangelo so my work looks/feels/is like the smash-spattering of a 2 year old fingerpainting.

This is of course, might not be a news flash to you my dear reader, but I want you to know that I know it. This is a new world for me and I’m putting my big-beer-drinking-girl-pants on to admit that I am fallible and way over my head here.

The only way out is through?

Apparently that quotation is about writing. Ha!

Finding my way

My way through has always been gathering information and figuring it out. A fair amount of what I’ve been reading these last weeks have been talking about theme: finding your voice, honing your message, creating your brand… Not to mention my Marketing class with endless circle-back to value proposition and mission.

Great. Here I jumped in before I solidly, completely grasped or even imagined the whole picture. Now what?

[Read more…]

Taking a flying leap…

A few weeks ago the daily DealMobs was a half-off discount on a flying trapeze lesson. Yes please.

I have been thinking of trying some sort of arial class for a while (it is on my list and everything) and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Yesterday was the big day…

Interesting experience?

Yes.

Did I have fun?

Yes.

Worth the $20 for two hours?

Yes.

A little disappointing?

…Yes.

[Read more…]

To the Crazy One…

This and This feels like all there needs to be said tonight.

My plans of polishing off my 500 words on personal statements this evening, posting it with my new determinations, and celebrating a job well done with a Pumpking ran headlong into reality of life happening tonight. My coffeeshop/bar is out of the Southern Tier seasonal and midway into my edit my phone alights with news of the passing of Steve Jobs.

I feel posting anything else but something on Steve is not appropriate tonight— especially not my lowly thoughts about making a personal statement and standing proud in the face of your words. His statement is bigger than mine could ever be. So I’m sipping an nitro-tap Old Rasputin and will pay my respects by sharing what I’m feeling tonight.

I’m sad that the world has lost this amazing man.

[Read more…]

My Journey List

Per inspiration and instructions from Mr. Impossible himself (AKA Joel Runyon of the Impossible League) I am sharing my own intended Life Itinerary Way-points:

The truly Epic:

Substantially and Quantifiably help one person pursue his/her passion… every year

Invent one word that makes it into the Dictionary (not just the urban one)

Fund an artist for (at least) a year

Other Life:

52 weeks of one blog post a week

52 weeks of one book a week

1 year living debt free (no mortgage, car payment, student loans, nor carried credit card balances)

Live in another country for (at least) 6 months

Publish an Academic Article

Publish a Non-Fiction Article (printed)

Be paid for a speaking gig

Teach a collegiate course

Travel:

Solo travel in non-english speaking country

Visit Every Continent

Drive US coast-to-coast

Spend (at least) 1 week hiking Appalachian Trail (or comparable)

Stay in a hostel (yes, I really never have)

Couchsurf

WOOF

Spend a night on a sailboat at sea

Have coffee in 50 countries before I turn 50

Fitness:

Race/Ride/Event in every US State (and DC)

5K (technically I haven’t raced a 5K, first race was 4miles) (Corri di Vita 9/30/12)

 

10K

Half Marathon

30mile No-Stop Ride

Metric Century Ride

Full Century Ride

Double Century (2 Days)

Double Century in one day (STP – July 2012)

Triathalon – sprint distance

Triathlon – olympic distance

Things to learn:

Scuba

Emergency Medical Training

Yoga teaching certification

Fluent in one other language

Things to try:

Bellydancing

Poledancing (for fitness)

Rollerderby

Trapeze

Guided Meditation

Fly a plane

Jump out of a plane (skydive)

Rappel

Hand-glide

Roast my own coffee

Brew My own beer

Raise Chickens

A 3-Day Fast

Vegan for 3 months

Polar Bear Swim

Surfing

Snowboarding