Faking Confidence

I’m currently traveling for work. Old life as an editor is back and, although tired and spread thin, I’m loving being on the road.

I’m meeting and working with entirely new people, short timeframes, tight deadlines, etc.

Somewhere along the way I was reminded powerfully of the old adage “Fake it until you make it” and how true this is for this blog and my life right now.

I was reminded again about the power of confidence. The power of you being you and letting the rest sort out.

A big part of me wants to leave in the part here were I write “Oh I know you are probably sick of hearing about this but…”

BUT you know what? If you aren’t interested in what I’m saying you will have probably stopped reading by now. I have no control over that. I can just do my thing— or “thang” depending on my mood.

Still here? Great…

Taking leaps

I’m finding myself continually drawn back to the theme of leaping. Of trying to be bold. Accepting being a little afraid yet pushing forward anyway and smiling. Not for outward display but to remind yourself to try to enjoy the process.

Maybe it was finding out the producer with whom I’ve been working is about 6 years my junior. I’ve been obsessing over her opinion of me, wanting to make a good impression, and I suddenly realized that her terseness isn’t negative judgement as I so feared… it is trust.

She is letting me be because she deferring to me and my ability.

Maybe it was having a (oft-had) conversation with my cameraman which goes something like this:

“Can you believe they are paying us for this.”
“Nope. Feels like we are getting away with something. Most days I’m just making it up”
“Me too.”
“I keep waiting for someone to figure out that I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Me too.”
<shared laughter>

Which brings us back to confidence and pushing forward with guts.

Guts Driven

Historically, I have been guided by one thing: I like what I like.

I’ll try new tastes, smells, textures and revisit things that haven’t wowed me in the past— I know my palette is changing — but I’m a guts-driven person in my taste.

I shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to admit it. I shouldn’t be fearful or wary of letting that guide me in my pursuits, be it work, travel, love, or this blog.

Here’s the deal:

I like my coffee strong.

I like learning about different places, people and ideas and a a fantastic turn-of-phrase.

I like my beers dark.

I also like challenges, travel, achieving a faster run and longer bike, naps… and an untold number of little happinesses that make life more full.

How do all those things fit together in one cohesive blog?

Me.

This is my creation. And if I have anything to share to the greater world it is this:

You are your own best creation.

Inspire yourself.
Inform yourself.
Invent yourself.

Enjoy the hell out of being you.

I need to be reminded of these things every day too. I need to keep building my confidence that I am in control of my direction and, most of all, I am worth it. I am still leaping. I am still learning.

Welcome to my journey.